Strangers You Know

#135 James - Authentic Transition or Toxic Trap?

Brian Acord Episode 135

Is your life transition leading to authentic discovery or are you falling victim to another toxic trap? James Barnes has spent the majority of his life trying to find his authentic self in a world that desperately needed him to conform to pre-approved stereotypes.  Several times he tried to find his true path, only to find himself trying to fit into a different, equally ill-fitting, pre-defined box. 

"We're deeply trained to please other people. Often, in key transitions, we trade one false identity only to completely embrace another - simply because that's what other people want from us. We must learn to avoid pre-defined stereotypes and look inward if we want to find our true selves."

James Barnes is an entrepreneur, teacher, and bridge-builder. After being born and raised in a Christian home, James spent years trying to figure out where he fit in. It wasn't until eight years ago, when James came out as trans, that he started to find the answers he was looking for. James' story is an inspiring one of resilience, self-discovery, and the power of owning your identity. Through his coaching and online activism, James is creating a safe space for honest, vulnerable, and bold conversations about masculinity, mental health, trans rights, and all of life's transitions.

Resources:
"Permission to Feel" by Dr. Marc Brackett
James' "Connect Course"
MUST WATCH James' post on toxic distancing in male relationships.

Other episodes you'll enjoy:
#101 Jaxon - "The Man at My Wedding." Jaxon, a transgender man, tells the story of his brave journey to self-acceptance and love.
#104 Amanda - "Understanding Real Poverty." Amanda tells how a single question changed her life forever, opening her eyes to a world of possibilities, and instilling a strong desire to live and work abroad.
#116 Kauri - "Healing Oasis" Kauri bravely shares her experiences with racism, sexual abuse, incarceration of a loved one, and even her own death.
#107 Santiago - "Cui Bono?" We discuss philosophy, politics, existential crisis, religion, expressions of God, worldviews, power, friends, family, and machismo.

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